We can all benefit from understanding the characteristics of healthy family relationships. A quality relationship between husband and wife, between parents and children, and among siblings is essential for creating and maintaining a fulfilling, gospel-centered home.On the other hand, dysfunctional family relationships create discord and an unhappy home environment. Poor family relationships foster conflict, alienate individuals, excuse disobedience and disregard for parental authority, and contribute to poor performance at work and school. Eventually these may also lead to physical and emotional abuse, moral indiscretions, infidelity, divorce, and perhaps even suicide.
How should we cultivate healthy family relationships?
Time -- Family members with healthy relationships spend time together. Time is the fundamental building block that strengthens family bonds. Families that share meal times, go on outings, and participate in sports and creative activities build strong and enduring relationships. In contrast, when family members avoid each other, relationships usually deteriorate.
Communication -- Healthy families communicate frequently at a high level. They converse during meal times. Conversation is positive and constructive. Family members freely express inner feelings, emotions, and desires without fear of repercussion. Words of appreciation, love, and “I’m sorry” generate an uplifting mind-set. In contrast, harsh and unkind or critical comments destroy relationships and break down communication lines.
Trust -- Healthy families trust each other. Parents who have taught their children to make the right choices, based on family values and Christian principles, can better trust their children to make correct decisions in their own life's adventures.
Meeting Individual Needs -- Daily life presents many unanticipated challenges. During difficult times, family members in healthy relationships step forward and support each other. In unhealthy families, rivalries and jealousy predominate, and family members may relish in the troubles that come to their parents, children, or siblings.
Family Goals -- Healthy families plan together to achieve family goals, such as home remodeling and landscaping, or recreation and vacations. Successful families share the workload and make personal contributions to home improvement.
Dealing with Conflict -- Families inevitably experience periods of conflict and readjustment. Healthy families communicate effectively to work through the conflicts--thereby growing closer in the process.
Prayer -- Healthy families pray, study scripture, and worship together. Perfection is not a prerequisite for a quality relationship. But all too often, families forget to think about and put into practice these simple habits that engender healthy and lasting interpersonal relationships.
