The House of the LordTemple marriage is the foundation of an eternal family. The ceremony contemplates a marriage based on covenents with God and each other. Great promises are sealed on man and woman in a temple marriage. Therefore, the quality of the marriage relationship takes on great importance. Realizing the promised blessings depends on how well we understand and keep our covenants.
We were married in the Seattle Temple in Bellevue, Washington (pictured above). Our anniversary date is June 23. We find peace in the temple.
Peace and Comfort
We all seek peace in our homes, in our hearts, and in all parts of our lives. People of all faiths and cultures seek inner peace. But real and abiding peace comes from personal purity, integrity, and character traits that nurture peace. Richard L. Evans observed: “To find peace—the peace within, the peace that surpasseth understanding—men and women must live in honesty, honoring each other, honoring obligations, working willingly, loving and cherishing loved ones, serving and considering others, with patience, with virtue, with faith and forbearance, with the assurance that life is for learning, for serving, for repenting, and improving." Parents have an important responsibility to provide a peaceful and nuturing home for each other and for their children.
One Man, One Women
True love requires mutual respect and consideration. Fullfillment of that love and the life-long need for one another bind husband and wife together by ways in which all of the attributes of masculinity are complemented by the feminine virtues of womanhood. That part of life has no equal in human experience: one man, one woman----no counterfeit alternative subverting the Divine plan for happiness. The unity achieved through true love is much more than physical attraction. We place the highest value on kindness, loyalty, admiration, and appreciation for each other and for the ways in which the man complements the woman. Loyalty to each other is paramount. When the marriage covenant is made and kept, this deepest form of love can last forever.
Our Love for Each Other
Romantic love is exciting and our love for each other increases with time. "The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident" (Sir Hugh Walpoe). We have been married to each other for more than 20 years. Our commitment to each other extends through this life and through all eternity to come.
Our Love for God
We express love for God when we honor marriage and love others above self.
Unity is Strength
No difficulty is insurmountable, and no challenge is so great that we cannot overcome it and achieve success if we are one in heart, mind, and spirit. We have discovered the power of unity for taking on every challenge that comes to us in life. These include such simple tasks as moving the furniture, putting the boat in the water, or towing a disabled vehicle. The elegance of unity is something like a Viennese waltz: the dance is magnificant when the we hold each other just right, look into each other's eyes, and move together in synchrony and harmony over the hardwood.
Happily Ever After?
Love is the glue that binds two heart together as one. However, mere love is not enough during inevitable times of difficulty. Our life experience will test us with many disappointments and hardships. Just as the weather is not always sunny, dry, and warm, marriage is not a constant state of wedded bliss. We notice that about one day in every eight or nine seems more difficult as the relationship is tested. Life is stressful. The periodic storm is normal and maybe even a vital part of every good marriage. What is most important is how we deal with difficult situations. These are times to readjust, recalibrate, and strengthen our 'forever' relationship.
Good communication is the best healing remedy, but sometimes we also need a little space from each other to develop talents, focus on other friends or family members, read a book, exercise, enjoy the outdoors, or get necessary work done. We try to recognize each other's need for appreciation and affection. We tackle projects together. We take time off for special moments--a dinner out, a dinner in, a walk along the river, a trip to someplace far away, or something as simple as a movie at home near the fireplace. Above all, we avoid criticism of each other and negative attitudes. We are courteous to each other in private and in public.
The 'Blended Family' Challenge
Our marriage blended two sets of children, a situation that none of them wanted. So we have had to set realistic expectations, and work to overcome their resentment and mistrust. It hasn't been a fairytale experience for the kids. They've had difficulty accepting their new step-parent and making smooth adjustments to our priority values based on "marriage first and children second." We've come to realize that building a strong and happy blended family is difficult, even after working on it for many years.
The 'Empty Nest'
Many couples with children fear the day when children finally grow up, leave the nest for school, a mission, a job, or marriage. We discovered that our marriage grew stronger when the nest emptied and we could refocus on each other. Most parents feel the need to continue supporting children as they struggle to build their own families. However, we found that children do best when motivated to figure out their own support and to chart their own path to success.
We don't know why it takes such a long time for children to really love, admire, and appreciate their parents. Sometimes it never happens, and that is tragic. But on the other hand, maybe that's why God gave us the magic of 'grandchildren.'
