Champions for unity

The scriptures emphasize frequently the importance of unity. Nowhere is unity more important than in the family. “It is good to dwell together in unity” (Psalms 133:1).

We champion the cause of family unity in a world rampant with strife and division.

The apostle Paul said we should be “perfectly joined together” (1Cor. 1:10), “being of one accord, of one mind” (Phil. 2:2), and with “one mind striving together” (Phil. 1:27). Good advice then; good advice today.

If we’re not working together, we’re pulling apart.

The early believers in Christ were “of one heart and of one soul” (Acts 4:32). Alma taught the church “that there should be no contention one with another,” but that we should have our “hearts knit together in unity and love one towards another” (Mosiah 18:21.)

Maybe the virtue of family unity is more easily preached than put into daily practice. Selfishness and pride divide many families.

Gordon B. Hinckley provided valuable advice. He said that we ought to look for and accentuate the virtues, not the faults, of one another, based on respect and acceptance. He said, “If we will look for the virtues in one another and not the vices, there will be much more of happiness in the homes of our people. There will be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling” (in Stand a Little Taller, p. 99).

We have to stifle the voices of insult, sarcasm, and criticism….especially toward members of our own family, who can sometimes feel like punching bags.

No matter what your age, be highly respectful of your parents, just as you would like your own children to respect you.

Few people pay enough attention to the pleadings of Christ in his great intercessory prayer to our Father in Heaven for the unity of his followers, that “they may be one, as we are” (John 17:11), “that they also may be one in us (John 17:21).

We can become “one,” in heart and soul, through unconditional love. We have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear.”           (1 John 4:18).

The entertainment we choose

Our modern culture offers an abundance of entertainment choices--television channels, movies, and music of every kind that stream to us 24 hours each day. We may watch live performances or recorded programs from satellite signals, the internet, and radio waves.

Some of this entertainment is positive and uplifting, but an ever-increasing segment is degrading and destructive. A recent New York Times review hyped a new Broadway musical as “blasphemous, scurrilous and foul-mouthed” (March 24, 2011). Movies and even television have become increasingly pornographic, excusing fornication and adultery, homosexuality, nudity, and casual drug and alcohol use. Comedians deliver strings of profanity and sexual innuendo. Movies and television disparage marriage, fidelity, abstinence, honesty, and faith.

“Our biggest challenge is to choose wisely what we listen to and what we watch” (M. Russell Ballard, Let Our Voices Be Heard, Ensign, November 2003, p. 16-17).

Whatever media we read, watch, or listen to will profoundly affect us in many different ways. Uplifting and beautiful entertainment will enrich our souls, but degrading, obscene, profane, and foul entertainment will weaken our souls.

Consumers vote with their wallets and voices. One may either passively watch the progressive decline in moral standards, or one may take action with other concerned citizens by opposing current trends. “We need to tell the sponsors of offensive media that we have had enough. We need to support programs and products that are positive and uplifting” (M. Russell Ballard, as previously cited).

We recently attended a live, flawless performance of the internationally acclaimed Riverdance. The Irish tap was fast and disciplined. The performers were beautiful and the costumes were colorful and modest. The folk music was authentic and melodic, and the lyrics were uplifting and encouraging.

One may choose high-quality entertainment that enriches and uplifts, or one may choose degrading and corrupting entertainment that defiles the senses and impairs moral perspective.

“If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things” (from the 13th Article of Faith).

Cultivating healthy family relationships

We can all benefit from understanding the characteristics of healthy family relationships. A quality relationship between husband and wife, between parents and children, and among siblings is essential for creating and maintaining a fulfilling, gospel-centered home.

On the other hand, dysfunctional family relationships create discord and an unhappy home environment. Poor family relationships foster conflict, alienate individuals, excuse disobedience and disregard for parental authority, and contribute to poor performance at work and school. Eventually these may also lead to physical and emotional abuse, moral indiscretions, infidelity, divorce, and perhaps even suicide.

How should we cultivate healthy family relationships?

Time -- Family members with healthy relationships spend time together. Time is the fundamental building block that strengthens family bonds. Families that share meal times, go on outings, and participate in sports and creative activities build strong and enduring relationships. In contrast, when family members avoid each other, relationships usually deteriorate.

Communication -- Healthy families communicate frequently at a high level. They converse during meal times. Conversation is positive and constructive. Family members freely express inner feelings, emotions, and desires without fear of repercussion. Words of appreciation, love, and “I’m sorry” generate an uplifting mind-set. In contrast, harsh and unkind or critical comments destroy relationships and break down communication lines.

Trust -- Healthy families trust each other. Parents who have taught their children to make the right choices, based on family values and Christian principles, can better trust their children to make correct decisions in their own life's adventures.

Meeting Individual Needs -- Daily life presents many unanticipated challenges. During difficult times, family members in healthy relationships step forward and support each other. In unhealthy families, rivalries and jealousy predominate, and family members may relish in the troubles that come to their parents, children, or siblings.

Family Goals -- Healthy families plan together to achieve family goals, such as home remodeling and landscaping, or recreation and vacations. Successful families share the workload and make personal contributions to home improvement.

Dealing with Conflict -- Families inevitably experience periods of conflict and readjustment. Healthy families communicate effectively to work through the conflicts--thereby growing closer in the process.

Prayer -- Healthy families pray, study scripture, and worship together. Perfection is not a prerequisite for a quality relationship. But all too often, families forget to think about and put into practice these simple habits that engender healthy and lasting interpersonal relationships.