The gift of time

Someone once said, “Time is love, love is life, and life is time.” If you love me, then spend your time with me.

Time cannot be purchased or exchanged. It is priceless. As an investment, it always returns more than it costs.

Sometimes we give each other presents instead of our presence, but tangible gifts cannot compensate for absence. We need time with each other much more than we need physical objects.

The time that you spend with me determines the measure of your love. Time with each other is precious. Your gift of time is your gift of love.

Gifts that have meaning

This week our son-in-law shared with us some fresh-caught salmon from the Columbia River. It was deep red, firm, and tasty—much more flavorful than any salmon from the grocery store. More important than the salmon was the time he spent catching the fish. We don’t know how many hours were involved, but a single salmon can cost a day of patient effort. His gift was a gift of time and sharing. Gifts of time, service, and sacrifice have great meaning.

We notice that some thoughtful people give of their time, but that other people do not. Our daughter picked us up at the airport, late at night, on our recent return from Russia. Her unselfish gift of time was most appreciated. Sometimes she will pick up lunch on her way over to our home and share extra sandwiches and sodas with us without fanfare or expectation of reward. Spontaneous, considerate gifts have great meaning.

Expressions of gratitude

Because we live a long distance away from most of our relatives, we usually ship gifts for Christmas, weddings, and birthdays—though our preference is always to deliver “in person.” Sometimes we will receive a “thank-you” note in return, but most of the time we do not!

The simple “thank you” note or other sincere expression of appreciation distinguishes gratitude from ingratitude, etiquette from carelessness.

The gift of inclusion

We like to visit friends and relatives, even those who live far away. Some are happy to see us; others seem indifferent or inconvenienced. It’s easy to detect.

Some of our relatives and friends have visited our home in Richland. It’s a nice place with amenities and recreational opportunities. We enjoy hosting. Most relatives, however, do not come, or they visit infrequently.

Some include us in their circle of friendship and share their lives with us. Others remain silent, separate, disinterested, and even unknown. Some call on the phone; others seldom call or write, even with availability of effortless email. We notice.

Gifts that show respect

The most important gift of grandchildren to grandparents is their interest in visiting and sharing time. A grandchild shows respect by spending time with grandparents. We love our grandchildren and cherish the time that they spend with us in our home. Their gift of time and interest is the most important gift that they can give.

“Let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7).

Tribute to a great man

Wayne Ekman Fisher died on July 20, 2010, at the age of 94, in Bountiful, Utah. He was a retail merchant of lumber, hardware, and building supplies for most of his life. He was neither famous nor wealthy. Eventually his business failed.

He was a plain and simple man. He never held political office or any notable leadership positions. He didn’t excel in athletics or appear in movies. He didn’t invent anything, compose music, or write any books.

As the world defines greatness, he lacked many essential qualities: exceptional skills, extraordinary vision, unbridled creativity, leadership personality and ability to form powerful alliances, bravery, organization and planning, sense of timing and fortune, and overriding self-confidence.

However, Wayne excelled in other qualities that have been deficient among many accomplished and well-known historical figures: honesty, purity, humility, and spirituality.

* He was an obedient child who honored his parents. He was a faithful and kind husband. He was a caring father to six children, and he provided the basic needs of his family. He taught his children the value of hard work.

* On Sundays he kept the Law of the Sabbath. He was faithful to his church and he lived his religion. He studied, followed, and lived the teachings of Jesus Christ. He served a two-year mission. He donated faithfully and contributed a full tithing—even during the most difficult economic times. He contributed generously to various charitable causes. He supported countless missionaries before, during, and after their service.

* He was patriotic to his country; he served in World War II and returned with honor. He respected the flag and our military. He voted. He prepared honest tax returns.

* He provided work opportunities to almost anyone who asked for his help. He was kind to his employees. He shunned debt, and paid all his creditors in full.

* He abstained from anything that was harmful to body or spirit, including alcohol, tobacco, caffeinated drinks, and candy (he liked ice cream). He had no interest for and avoided violent and sexually suggestive books, magazines, TV programs, and movies. He lived a morally clean life.

Wayne needed few personal possessions. He established a modest but unpretentious home. He saved for the future. He would rather repair and re-use something than discard it or purchase new. His dress was austere and his work attire was usually well-worn and often mismatched. He drove older vehicles. But his children had food, good clothing, education, musical training, and opportunities to help support the family.

I watched him one day at his business as he helped a widow with a leaky faucet. He took it apart, cleaned it, and replaced a rubber gasket. He put it back together. It took about half an hour. He charged her 9 cents for the gasket. He treated people as he would like to have been treated in a similar situation.

The holy scriptures teach that honesty and integrity, humility, charity, and obedience to the commandments are characteristics that constitute greatness in the eyes of God. By these measures, Wayne Fisher was, and will always be remembered as, a great man.

Kindness

It is nice to be important, but it is far more important to be nice to other people.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” --Leo Buscaglia (author of Born for Love, 1992)

An intelligent and beautiful woman was once asked, “What is the most important quality that you seek in a husband?” She answered: “Kindness.”

A good husband is kind. A man who is kind and sympathetic will also be gentle. He will be considerate of others’ feelings and courteous in his behavior. He will have a helpful nature. A kind and patient husband will quickly pardon the mistakes and failings of his wife and children. Because he loves them, he will not blame, find fault, or criticize.

The kindest phrase is always the unkind thought left forever unspoken.

A characteristic of godliness
Genuine kindness is a divine attribute. The Apostle Peter spoke of the process by which one can become Christ-like, a partaker “of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4-7). He said: “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; and to knowledge, temperance; and to temperance, patience; and to patience, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, charity.”

The effectual priesthood holder is kind. A man who holds the Melchizedek priesthood cannot exercise priesthood power unless he is kind. President Gordon B. Hinkley said, “Personal worthiness is the standard of eligibility to receive and exercise this sacred power.” If a man is unkind, priesthood power ceases altogether and has no efficacy (Doctrine and Covenants 121:36-37).

Gordon B. Hinckley (with wife, Marjorie, pictured above) was a model of pure kindness in every detail of his life.

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” -- Mark Twain

Traitors and apostates

Benedict Arnold

A traitor is one who betrays the sacred trust of another, a cause, a faith, an employer, or a country. Traitors put avarice above charity, and reject the inner compass that helps one to distinguish right from wrong. Central characteristics of traitors are infidelity and selfishness. Traitors are motivated by greed, lust, and the hunger for power, praise, and social prominence.

General Benedict Arnold, the most infamous traitor in early American history, betrayed his country for wealth and power. Entrusted with military position and authority, he nonetheless prepared detailed plans to help the British capture the American garrison at West Point on the Hudson River. When his designs were uncovered, he deserted his rank in exchange for a general’s commission in the British army. Today, Arnold’s name is synonymous with treason, treachery, and sedition.

Judas Iscariot

Though he belonged to an inner circle of trusted disciples, Judas Iscariot betrayed Our Savior with a pretended kiss for 30 pieces of silver.

Apostasy: Traitor’s next-of-kin
An apostate is someone who takes a vow or makes a covenant to follow and obey a religious affiliation, faith, or party, but who later vacates the same vows and covenants. Original promises, commitments, and contracts are not only violated, but the embittered apostate turns against his faith and realigns with its most acidic opponents.

The great American Prophet Joseph Smith was more concerned about traitors and apostates than his enemies. He said, “All the enemies upon the face of the earth may roar and exert all their power to bring about my death, but they can accomplish nothing, unless some who are among us and enjoy our society, have been with us in our councils, participated in our confidence, taken us by the hand, called us brother, saluted us with a kiss, join with our enemies, turn our virtues into faults, and, by falsehood and deceit, stir up their wrath and indignation against us, and bring their united vengeance upon our heads” (History of the Church, 6:152).

George Hinkle, a convert to Mormonism from Kentucky and colonel in the Missouri Militia at Caldwell county, served in 1838 on the Missouri High Council of the Church. During the period of mob violence and armed conflict between Mormons and Missourians (Battle at Crooked River, Haun's Mill Massacre), Church leaders were anxious to end local hostilities. On October 31, 1838, Hinkle made a secret agreement with the Missouri mob and Militia leaders that would involve the surrender of Church leaders for trial and punishment, confiscation of Mormon private property, and eviction of Mormons from the State. Hinkle received $750 for delivering the Prophet Joseph Smith and his closest associates to 2,000 Missouri militiamen as "your prisoners" on the false pretense that only a peaceful discussion would take place. Later the same day, he went to the home of Joseph and Emma, took their possessions and horse, and forced Emma and the children to leave. After a hasty court marshall, Colonel Lucas ordered the execution of the Prophet, but General Alexander Doniphan refused to carry out the order. Joseph Smith and several followers were imprisoned without trial or justice--first at Richmand, and then at Liberty Jail, under cold and harsh conditions, until they escaped in April, 1839. Hinkle is remembered as the most treacherous traitor and apostate in Church history.

William Law, who had served as second counselor in the First Presidency with Joseph Smith, was removed for "unchristian-like conduct." Law dissented, apostatized from the Church, and then formed a conspiracy to kill the Prophet that indirectly led to the murders of Joseph and his brother Hyrum Smith at Carthage, Illinois, in June 1844. He was never tried for his crimes.

Today, many who openly attack the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaim former membership, pioneer heritage, or other relationships. Some may have served missions or entered into temple marriages. These are examples of promises and covenants once made but later discarded. For one reason or another, feelings may have been hurt. Temptation may have overcome, and behavior or conduct may have followed that is inconsistent with membership in the Church of Jesus Christ. The disenfranchised usually claim victimization; they often seek public affirmation by writing articles, books, by producing films or internet websites, or they participate in other forms of civil protest that are highly critical of the Church and its leadership. In common with the disreputable of times past, they too, have become apostates and traitors.

Marital Infidelity
A betrayal of marriage by one in whom the highest forms of love, intimacy, and trust have been confided, can be one of the most painful experiences in mortality. Infidelity disgraces and destroys the soul of the perpetrator, but lingering ramifications injure the innocent--especially if children are involved.

Traitors and apostates are many, because it is easier to turn against than to remain faithful, loyal, and committed to a faith, principle, benefactor, or partner.