Illumination and Transparency: Further Thoughts on the Seer Stone and Divine Power by which the Book of Mormon was Translated into English

The release of photos of Joseph Smith’s seer stone by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, together with commentary and images of the original hand-written printer’s copy of the Book of Mormon, generated considerable excitement among church members -- as well as ridicule and mockery from anti-Mormon cynics.

Published news articles suggested that the seer stone-in-the-hat and translation method was something of an embarrassment for the Church that had been hidden from everyday members.  To some, the existence of the seer stone is “shocking” or reminiscent of witchery, magic, and the occult.  To others, it is nonsensical make-believe to deceive gullible, blind-faith Mormons. Some have even suggested that the Church is now trying to achieve greater transparency into its peculiar and enigmatic history. 

On further review, however, and when properly understood in light of the documented historical record, the methods that Joseph Smith used were entirely consistent with ancient methods described in the Bible and Book of Mormon.  By providing actual English text, the translation process incorporated several safeguards:  consistent translation to English without the author’s re-interpretation, and exact spellings. 

History also provides insight into methods used by prophets when composing sacred scripture claimed to be the dictated word of God. 

Paul’s second letter to Timothy explained that “All scripture is given by inspiration of God.”  Divine revelation is a basic principle of the Church of Jesus Christ.  Joseph Smith received revelation by personal visits from angels, seeing and hearing the voice of the Lord, mental inspiration, and--for highly complex language and peculiar spelling of names and places--through instruments prepared specifically for divine revelation. 

In our generation, we see nothing strange about turning to a hand-held smart phone or tablet, scanning the internet, taking and transmitting photos, and reading illuminated text from millions of sources connected by the world-wide web.  One may even translate from one language to another using convenient online software tools.  These are marvelous inventions supported by nearly incomprehensible technologies that would have seemed impossible or magical just a few years ago—even in our lifetime.

In ancient days, the Urim and Thummim comprised two white, translucent stones held by wires like spectacles.  This instrument attached to the sacred breastplate, worn by the high priest over the Ephod (an elaborate linen garment).  Looking into the instrument, the prophet inquired of God and received directly inspired answers (Exodus 28:13-30) as illuminated writing in the stones.

Another curious instrument, the Liahona compass (or “interpreters”) was a brass ball with two spindles that pointed directions to Lehi and his family after they left Jerusalem to guide them on their journey through an unknown wilderness (1 Nephi 16:10-11). The Liahona also displayed periodic written instructions from God.  

The Liahona and the Urim and Thummim were among the Book of Mormon artifacts that Joseph Smith said were included at Cumorah in the stone box with the gold plates.  Both instruments worked only for righteous purposes and by power from God. 

The brownish-stripped oval seer stone was a type of Urim and Thummin for direct revelation from God in ways that we cannot fully comprehend or appreciate.   Joseph Smith used both the Urim and Thummin and the seer stone to translate the Book of Mormon. 

But was the recent news about the seer stone really anything new to anyone familiar with Church history and doctrine?  No, because the same seer stone is described many places in Church historical literature.

Common knowledge

As a youth, I read about the seer stone in Mormon Doctrine, 2^nd edition (Bruce R. McConkie, pp. 818-819; Salt Lake City: Bookcraft; 1966).  I learned more facts about the translation process in high school seminary and university institute classes. Nothing was particularly secret or hidden. The Foundations of the Restoration Teachers Manual, Lesson 3: The Coming Forth of the Book of Mormon, states:

“…another instrument Joseph Smith used while translating the Book of Mormon was a small oval stone, sometimes referred to as a ‘seer stone,’ that he discovered several years before he obtained the gold plates…The historical account indicates that the Prophet sometimes used the Urim and Thummim and sometimes used the seer stone to translate.”

What about the current status and location of the seer stone?  McConkie and others provided that information as well (Mormon Doctrine. 2nd ed.  Salt Lake City, Utah: Bookcraft, 1966, under the section on Urim and Thummim, with a cross reference to Doctrines of Salvation, compiled by Bruce R. McConkie, Volume 3, p. 225, Salt Lake City, Utah:  Bookcraft, 1954-1956):

“The Prophet also had a seer stone which was separate and distinct from the Urim and Thummim . . . this seer stone is now in the possession of the Church.”

David Whitmer, witness
 to the Book of Mormon
 translation process

Translation process

B. H. Roberts wrote in his Comprehensive History of the Church (Volume 1, Chapter  10, The Coming of Oliver Cowdery—“A Great And Marvelous Work”—Manner of Translating the Book of Mormon): 

“(Martin Harris) said that the Prophet possessed a Seer Stone, by which he was enabled to translate as well as with the Urim and Thummim, and for convenience he sometimes used the Seer Stone.  Martin said further that the Seer Stone differed in appearance entirely from the Urim and Thummim that was obtained with the plates, which were two clear stones set in two rims, very much resembling spectacles, only they were larger.  The Seer Stone referred to here was a chocolate-colored, somewhat egg-shaped stone which the Prophet found while digging a well in company with his brother Hyrum, for a Mr. Clark Chase, near Palmyra, N.Y.  It possessed the qualities of Urim and Thummim, since by means of it—as described above—as well as by means of the Interpreters found with the Nephite record, Joseph was able to translate the characters engraven on the plates.  Martin Harris’ description of the manner of translating while he was an amanuensis to the Prophet is as follows:

“By aid of the Seer Stone, sentences would appear and were read by the Prophet and written by Martin, and when finished he would say ‘written,’ and if correctly written, the sentence would disappear and another appear in its place; but if not written correctly it remained until corrected, so that the translation was just as it was engraven on the plates, precisely in the language then used.”

Without any reference books

If one considers the complex structure and content of the Book of Mormon, together with more than 400 difficult names and places mentioned, (such as Gadiomnah, Amnigaddah, Gidgiddonah, Curelom,  Jeneum, Paanchi , and Zemnarihah), it seems obvious that the utility of a divine tool which conveniently spelled out words a few at a time, helps explain how Joseph Smith and his transcribers were able to complete the translation in a few short weeks--without consulting any reference books or external sources, including the family Bible.  He could look at the plates, turn the leaves, and look at the engraved characters, but he needed some way to know the correct spelling of names and places in English.   According to Noel B. Reynolds in chapter 1 of Book of Mormon Authorship Revisited (Provo, Utah: Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies, 1997):

“Joseph did not write the book; rather, he read it as it was given to him through interpretive instruments such as the seer stone, much like we today would read material off a computer screen.” 

“Joseph dictated without reference to any notes, papers, or even the plates themselves; he relied wholly upon the Urim and Thummim and the seer stone.  Joseph spelled out the strange new Book of Mormon names and other unfamiliar words, and scribes read back to him their transcription to allow him to check for accuracy.  New sessions began without any review of the last transcribed material.” 

"The people closest to the translation process had no doubts that it was divinely directed; in fact, they could not imagine that Joseph was capable of writing such a book on his own.”

Consistency in the historical records

All personal accounts of the translation process provide consistent views.  Among those people closest to Joseph Smith and the translation process were Martin Harris and David Whitmer, both witnesses to the authenticity of the Book of Mormon, the gold plates, and interpreters.   

According to David Whitmer (James H. Hart interview, 1884; see also Royal Skousen’s chapter 4 on Statements from Witnesses of the Translation): 

“During the translation process, the witnesses were able to observe, in open setting, Joseph Smith placing the interpreters (either the Urim and Thummim or the seer stone) in a hat and placing his face into the hat.”

“Sometimes Joseph could not pronounce the words correctly, having had but little education, and if by any means a mistake was made in the copy, the luminous writing would remain until it was corrected.” 

“Every word was distinctly visible even down to every letter.” 

According to Martin Harris (in Edward Stevenson’s 1881 account, also from Skousen’s chapter 4 in Reynolds ):

“By aid of the seer stone, sentences would appear and were read by the Prophet and written by Martin, and when finished he would say, “Written,” and if correctly written, that sentence would disappear and another appear in its place; but if not written correctly it remained until corrected, so that the translation was just as it was engraven on the plates, precisely in the language then used.” 

But translation of the Book of Mormon using the Urim and Thummim and seer stone was not merely a perfunctory process.  Translation required Joseph’s complete concentration of mental faculties and spiritual power to enable the words to appear on the sacred instruments provided by God.

By the gift and power of God

In his Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (6 volumes, 1930, Chapter 10.  Reprinting, Orem, Utah: Sonos Publishing Inc., 1991), B.H. Roberts wrote:

“David Whitmer is more specific on this subject.  After describing the means the Prophet employed to exclude the light from the Seer Stone, he says:  “In the darkness, the spiritual light would shine.  A piece of something resembling parchment would appear, and under it was the interpretation in English.  Brother Joseph would read off the English to Oliver Cowdery, who was his principal scribe, and when it was written down and repeated to brother Joseph to see if it was correct, then it would disappear, and another character with the interpretation would appear.  Thus the Book of Mormon was translated by the gift and power of God and not by any power of man.” 

“In his Address to All Believers in Christ, David Whitmer says:  ‘At times when brother Joseph would attempt to translate he would look into the hat in which the stone was placed, [to exclude the light], he found he was spiritually blind and could not translate.  He told us that his mind dwelt too much on earthly things, and various causes would make him incapable of proceeding with the translation.  When in this condition he would go out and pray, and when he became sufficiently humble before God, he could then proceed with the translation.”

Test for authenticity

The original source for David Whitmer’s account referenced by most historians is his “Address to all Believers in Christ, A Witness to the Divine Authenticity of the Book of Mormon,” published at Richmond, Missouri, in 1887.  In that history, Whitmer wrote:

“On one occasion Harris sought to test the genuineness of the prophet’s procedure in the matter of translation, as follows:  “Martin said that after continued translation they would become weary and would go down to the river and exercise in throwing stones out on the river, etc.  While so doing on one occasion, Martin found a stone very much resembling the one used for translating, and on resuming their labors of translation, Martin put in place [of the Seer Stone] the stone that he had found.  He said that the prophet remained silent unusually and intently gazing in darkness, no trace of the usual sentence appearing.  Much surprised, Joseph exclaimed: ‘Martin! What is the matter?  All is as dark as Egypt.’  Martin’s countenance betrayed him, and the prophet asked Martin why he had done so.  Martin said, to stop the mouths of fools, who had told him that the prophet had learned those sentences and was merely repeating them.” 

Answers to questions revealed

Joseph Smith received early revelations using the Urim and Thummim.  Speaking of those early days the Prophet usually says (see History of the Church, vol. 1, pp. 33, 36, 45, 49, and 63):

“I inquired of the Lord through the Urim and Thummim, and obtained the following . . . .”

According to Richard Holzapfel and Jeffery Cottle (Holzapfel, Richard Neitzel, and T. Jeffery Cottle. In  A Window to the Past, Chapter on The Nature of Revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants, Salt Lake City, Utah: Bookcraft, 1993):

“Several revelations were received through the use of divine instruments.  Usually, the instrument was the seer stone or the Urim and Thummim.  This method applies to (Doctrine and Covenants) sections 3, 6-7, 10-11, and 14-17.” 

Under the section on Book of Mormon Translation from The Encyclopedia of Mormonism (Daniel H. Ludlow., ed., New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1992), available online at the website for the BYU Harold B. Lee Library, we find:

“Most reports state that throughout the project Joseph used the “Nephite interpreters” or, for convenience, he would use a seer stone (see CHC 1:128-130).  Both instruments were sometimes called by others the Urim and Thummim.  In 1830, Oliver Cowdery is reported to have testified in court that these tools enabled Joseph “to read in English, the reformed Egyptian characters, which were engraved on the plates” (Benton, Evangelical Magazine and Gospel Advocate 2 [Apr. 9, 1831]:15).  In an 1891 interview, William Smith indicated that when his brother Joseph used the “interpreters”  . . . his hands were left free to hold the plates.”

A personal witness

A report in the Kansas City Journal  of its interview with David Whitmer, June 5, 1881 (also reprinted in “Mormonism,” in the Millenial Star 43:421-423 and 437-439, July 4, 1881), written by a non-Mormon editor, reported the following conversation from an interview with eyewitness David Whitmer: 

[page 437]  “When did you see the plates?”

“It was in the latter part of June, 1829.  Joseph [Smith, Jr.], Oliver Cowdery and myself were together, and the angel showed them to us.  We not only saw the plates of the Book of Mormon, but he also showed us the brass plates of the Book of Ether and many others.  They were shown to us in this way. 

Joseph and Oliver and I were sitting on a log when we were overshadowed by a light more glorious than that of the sun.  In the midst of this light, but a few feet from us, appeared a table upon which were many golden plates, also the sword of Laban and the directors (Liahona).  I saw them as plain as I see you now and distinctly heard the voice of the Lord declaring that the records of the plates of the Book of Mormon were translated by the gift and power of God.”

“Who else saw the plates at this time?”

“No one.  Martin Harris, the other witness, saw them the same day, and the eight witnesses, Christian Whitmer, Hiram Page, Jacob Whitmer, Joseph Smith, Sen., Peter Whitmer, Hyrum Smith, Jno. [John] Whitmer and Samuel H. Smith, saw them next day.”

“Did you see the angel?”

“Yes, he stood before us.  Our testimony as recorded in the Book of Mormon is absolutely true, just as it is written there.” 

(See also:  Preston Nibley, Testimonies of Book of Mormon Witnesses, The Three Witnesses of the Book of Mormon: Life, Character and Testimony, Backman and Perkins, David Whitmer, His Life, Character and Testimony, David Whitmer: Life Sketch.  Source:  Preston Nibley, comp., The Witnesses of the Book of Mormon, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1958, pp 61-64).

To the members of the Church, Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles wrote in 1993 ("A Treasured Testament," Ensign, July 1993, p.61): 

“Joseph Smith would put the seer stone into a hat, and put his face in the hat, drawing it closely around his face to exclude the light; and in the darkness the spiritual light would shine. A piece of something resembling parchment would appear, and on that appeared the writing.  One character at a time would appear, and under it was the interpretation in English. Brother Joseph would read off the English to Oliver Cowdery, who was his principal scribe, and when it was written down and repeated to Brother Joseph to see if it was correct, then it would disappear, and another character with the interpretation would appear.  Thus, the Book of Mormon was translated by the gift and power of God, and not by any power of man.”

And so it is.  The story of the seer stone has been well known and documented since the 1820s—not enshrouded in mystery or veiled in mysticism.  Matters that are spiritual in nature require a spiritual perspective, or as the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians:
  

“But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.”  (1 Cor. 2:14)

No shaken-faith syndrome in our household!

--------------------------

Other excellent references:   

Royal Skousen, “Translating the Book of Mormon: Evidence from the Original Manuscript,” in Book of Mormon Authorship Revisited: The Evidence for Ancient Origins, ed. Noel B. Reynolds,Provo, Utah: FARMS, 1997, pp. 61-93.  

Richard L. Bushman, Joseph Smith and the Beginnings of Mormonism, Urbana, Illinois: University of Illinois Press, 1984, pp. 79-114. 

Reynolds, Philip C., ed.  Book of Mormon Commentary Series, ed. by George Reynolds, Janne Sjodahl, and Phillip C. Reynolds, Deseret Book: Salt Lake City, Utah.

Why dads matter

We write a few words about the things in life that matter the most to all humanity. One of these is the essential role of the father in balanced parenting.

Today’s item evolved from ongoing observations that dads get little respect. Out of spite and bitterness, some mothers would even estrange her children from their father.

Decades of research have carefully documented the problems associated with children growing up without fathers.  Despite the obvious, we sometimes hear the news media tout and even advocate for “genderless” or “same-sex” parenting.

Recently, we read a refreshing article by Jenet Jacob Erickson in the Deseret News (October 21, 2012) about scientific research on the important psychological influences of dads on children. Ideas from her article are repeated in this blog.

Erickson described research by Andrea Doucet involving 118 primary caregiver dads, including stay-at-home dads. This research shows conclusively that fathers have a completely different parenting style: To develop normally, children need the masculine parenting style that only a dad can provide.

Doucet concluded that fathers do not "mother," and that's a good thing. Although mothering and fathering have much in common, the father provides persistent, critical differences important to healthy child development.

How do fathers nurture children? To begin with, fathers more often use fun and playfulness to connect with their children. No doubt, many a mother has stood by--holding her breath--while fathers "tickled and tossed" their infants. Yet playfulness and fun are often critical modes of connection with children.

Fathers also more consistently make it a point to get their children outdoors for physical activities, as if they intuitively knew that focusing on physical development was also critical to nurturing. These activities involve risks that mothers might otherwise avoid.

Fathers are also more likely to guide their children in deciding how much risk to take, and then to encourage them in that risk taking—whether on the playground, in schoolwork, or at trying something new. This is the way dads foster independence in everything from children making their own lunches and tying their shoes to doing household chores and making academic decisions.

When fathers respond to children's hurts, they also focus more on fixing the problem than the hurt feeling. This seeming "indifference" to those feelings turns out to be useful, particularly as children grow older. As a result, normal children will then seek out and share things with their dads precisely because of dad’s problem-solving responses.

Psychologically damaged children deprived of a fathers influence avoid talking to and sharing with their dads later in life, and are often highly critical of their dads for perceived shortcomings.

As she evaluated these differences, Doucet wondered if dads just weren't just as "nurturing" as moms. Their behaviors didn't always fit the traditional definition of "holding close and responding sensitively."

But a key part of nurturing also includes the capacity to "let go." It is that careful "letting-go" that fathers are particularly good at—in ways that mothers often are not. These vital contributions by dads underscore the many research findings that when dads are not present, children are more likely to suffer and experience serious psychological dependencies, even into adulthood.

Arguments for the non-essential father may reflect an effort to be more accepting of the reality that many children grow up without their dads. But surely a more effective and compassionate approach to social problems would be to acknowledge the uniquely different contributions of mothers and fathers in their children's lives, then to do whatever we can to ensure that we understand the importance of a father’s contributions to child development.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass.'    'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply.  'We're raising boys!' "   
                    -- Harmon Killebrew 

"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived; he lived greatness, and he let me watch him do it."   -- adapted from Clarence Budington Kelland

Tribute to a remarkable woman

We were the luckiest of all children.  We had a full-time mother who cooked and cleaned and sewed and helped us with homework and played with us in the back yard.  She was our cub-scout den mother; she helped us earn boy-scout merit badges; she read to us bedtime stories from the Bible.  She taught us to pray.

Mom’s prayers were legendary.  We worried that she would wear out her knees either praying or scrubbing the floors.  She knew how to talk to Heavenly Father.  Her prayers saved us from serious illnesses, accidents, and financial hardships.  We learned from our mother that all prayers are heard and answered--but that our faith must be strong--as we live the principles of the Gospel. 

Foundations in faith and confidence

Mother taught us to love and live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She taught the divine calling of the prophet Joseph Smith and reality of the First Vision.  She taught us faith in Christ, the power of a testimony, the blessings that come from obedience to the commandments, and the truthfulness of the Bible and the Book of Mormon.
 
She was always positive and reassuring.  She taught us to believe in ourselves, that we could do anything and become anything that we wanted to become.  We felt important, talented, smart, and good looking.  At least to her, we were.  And with that confidence, we went forward to succeed in life.

Music in the home

Mother sang at home throughout the day.  She was blessed with the most beautiful coloratura soprano voice and love for music.  Dad tended to the hardware store six days a week.  Mom took care of the home, yard, and children.  The themes that distinguished her life were love and service to and for everyone who needed her.  

“By their fruits ye shall know them”

Mom supported her five sons on two-year missions, and every week composed letters to them of family news, faith, and encouragement.  
* All six children graduated from college (two with doctorates).  
* All six children have temple marriages and families of their own.
* All six children and their families love their Savior, Jesus Christ.
* All six children and their posterity will carry forth her legacy.

   "I remember my mother's prayers, and they have always
   followed me.  They have clung to me all my life." 
                                            -- Abraham Lincoln
------
Zina Vae Moore Fisher was born on June 25, 1924, in Pleasant Grove, Utah--the fourth of six children to Samuel Drollinger Moore, Jr., and Mabel Monson Moore. She died peacefully on April 16, 2012, following almost 88 years of a happy and fulfilling life.   

Champions for unity

The scriptures emphasize frequently the importance of unity. Nowhere is unity more important than in the family. “It is good to dwell together in unity” (Psalms 133:1).

We champion the cause of family unity in a world rampant with strife and division.

The apostle Paul said we should be “perfectly joined together” (1Cor. 1:10), “being of one accord, of one mind” (Phil. 2:2), and with “one mind striving together” (Phil. 1:27). Good advice then; good advice today.

If we’re not working together, we’re pulling apart.

The early believers in Christ were “of one heart and of one soul” (Acts 4:32). Alma taught the church “that there should be no contention one with another,” but that we should have our “hearts knit together in unity and love one towards another” (Mosiah 18:21.)

Maybe the virtue of family unity is more easily preached than put into daily practice. Selfishness and pride divide many families.

Gordon B. Hinckley provided valuable advice. He said that we ought to look for and accentuate the virtues, not the faults, of one another, based on respect and acceptance. He said, “If we will look for the virtues in one another and not the vices, there will be much more of happiness in the homes of our people. There will be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling” (in Stand a Little Taller, p. 99).

We have to stifle the voices of insult, sarcasm, and criticism….especially toward members of our own family, who can sometimes feel like punching bags.

No matter what your age, be highly respectful of your parents, just as you would like your own children to respect you.

Few people pay enough attention to the pleadings of Christ in his great intercessory prayer to our Father in Heaven for the unity of his followers, that “they may be one, as we are” (John 17:11), “that they also may be one in us (John 17:21).

We can become “one,” in heart and soul, through unconditional love. We have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear.”           (1 John 4:18).

The entertainment we choose

Our modern culture offers an abundance of entertainment choices--television channels, movies, and music of every kind that stream to us 24 hours each day. We may watch live performances or recorded programs from satellite signals, the internet, and radio waves.

Some of this entertainment is positive and uplifting, but an ever-increasing segment is degrading and destructive. A recent New York Times review hyped a new Broadway musical as “blasphemous, scurrilous and foul-mouthed” (March 24, 2011). Movies and even television have become increasingly pornographic, excusing fornication and adultery, homosexuality, nudity, and casual drug and alcohol use. Comedians deliver strings of profanity and sexual innuendo. Movies and television disparage marriage, fidelity, abstinence, honesty, and faith.

“Our biggest challenge is to choose wisely what we listen to and what we watch” (M. Russell Ballard, Let Our Voices Be Heard, Ensign, November 2003, p. 16-17).

Whatever media we read, watch, or listen to will profoundly affect us in many different ways. Uplifting and beautiful entertainment will enrich our souls, but degrading, obscene, profane, and foul entertainment will weaken our souls.

Consumers vote with their wallets and voices. One may either passively watch the progressive decline in moral standards, or one may take action with other concerned citizens by opposing current trends. “We need to tell the sponsors of offensive media that we have had enough. We need to support programs and products that are positive and uplifting” (M. Russell Ballard, as previously cited).

We recently attended a live, flawless performance of the internationally acclaimed Riverdance. The Irish tap was fast and disciplined. The performers were beautiful and the costumes were colorful and modest. The folk music was authentic and melodic, and the lyrics were uplifting and encouraging.

One may choose high-quality entertainment that enriches and uplifts, or one may choose degrading and corrupting entertainment that defiles the senses and impairs moral perspective.

“If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things” (from the 13th Article of Faith).

Cultivating healthy family relationships

We can all benefit from understanding the characteristics of healthy family relationships. A quality relationship between husband and wife, between parents and children, and among siblings is essential for creating and maintaining a fulfilling, gospel-centered home.

On the other hand, dysfunctional family relationships create discord and an unhappy home environment. Poor family relationships foster conflict, alienate individuals, excuse disobedience and disregard for parental authority, and contribute to poor performance at work and school. Eventually these may also lead to physical and emotional abuse, moral indiscretions, infidelity, divorce, and perhaps even suicide.

How should we cultivate healthy family relationships?

Time -- Family members with healthy relationships spend time together. Time is the fundamental building block that strengthens family bonds. Families that share meal times, go on outings, and participate in sports and creative activities build strong and enduring relationships. In contrast, when family members avoid each other, relationships usually deteriorate.

Communication -- Healthy families communicate frequently at a high level. They converse during meal times. Conversation is positive and constructive. Family members freely express inner feelings, emotions, and desires without fear of repercussion. Words of appreciation, love, and “I’m sorry” generate an uplifting mind-set. In contrast, harsh and unkind or critical comments destroy relationships and break down communication lines.

Trust -- Healthy families trust each other. Parents who have taught their children to make the right choices, based on family values and Christian principles, can better trust their children to make correct decisions in their own life's adventures.

Meeting Individual Needs -- Daily life presents many unanticipated challenges. During difficult times, family members in healthy relationships step forward and support each other. In unhealthy families, rivalries and jealousy predominate, and family members may relish in the troubles that come to their parents, children, or siblings.

Family Goals -- Healthy families plan together to achieve family goals, such as home remodeling and landscaping, or recreation and vacations. Successful families share the workload and make personal contributions to home improvement.

Dealing with Conflict -- Families inevitably experience periods of conflict and readjustment. Healthy families communicate effectively to work through the conflicts--thereby growing closer in the process.

Prayer -- Healthy families pray, study scripture, and worship together. Perfection is not a prerequisite for a quality relationship. But all too often, families forget to think about and put into practice these simple habits that engender healthy and lasting interpersonal relationships.

The gift of time

Someone once said, “Time is love, love is life, and life is time.” If you love me, then spend your time with me.

Time cannot be purchased or exchanged. It is priceless. As an investment, it always returns more than it costs.

Sometimes we give each other presents instead of our presence, but tangible gifts cannot compensate for absence. We need time with each other much more than we need physical objects.

The time that you spend with me determines the measure of your love. Time with each other is precious. Your gift of time is your gift of love.