Tribute to a remarkable woman

We were the luckiest of all children.  We had a full-time mother who cooked and cleaned and sewed and helped us with homework and played with us in the back yard.  She was our cub-scout den mother; she helped us earn boy-scout merit badges; she read to us bedtime stories from the Bible.  She taught us to pray.

Mom’s prayers were legendary.  We worried that she would wear out her knees either praying or scrubbing the floors.  She knew how to talk to Heavenly Father.  Her prayers saved us from serious illnesses, accidents, and financial hardships.  We learned from our mother that all prayers are heard and answered--but that our faith must be strong--as we live the principles of the Gospel. 

Foundations in faith and confidence

Mother taught us to love and live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She taught the divine calling of the prophet Joseph Smith and reality of the First Vision.  She taught us faith in Christ, the power of a testimony, the blessings that come from obedience to the commandments, and the truthfulness of the Bible and the Book of Mormon.
 
She was always positive and reassuring.  She taught us to believe in ourselves, that we could do anything and become anything that we wanted to become.  We felt important, talented, smart, and good looking.  At least to her, we were.  And with that confidence, we went forward to succeed in life.

Music in the home

Mother sang at home throughout the day.  She was blessed with the most beautiful coloratura soprano voice and love for music.  Dad tended to the hardware store six days a week.  Mom took care of the home, yard, and children.  The themes that distinguished her life were love and service to and for everyone who needed her.  

“By their fruits ye shall know them”

Mom supported her five sons on two-year missions, and every week composed letters to them of family news, faith, and encouragement.  
* All six children graduated from college (two with doctorates).  
* All six children have temple marriages and families of their own.
* All six children and their families love their Savior, Jesus Christ.
* All six children and their posterity will carry forth her legacy.

   "I remember my mother's prayers, and they have always
   followed me.  They have clung to me all my life." 
                                            -- Abraham Lincoln
------
Zina Vae Moore Fisher was born on June 25, 1924, in Pleasant Grove, Utah--the fourth of six children to Samuel Drollinger Moore, Jr., and Mabel Monson Moore. She died peacefully on April 16, 2012, following almost 88 years of a happy and fulfilling life.   

Champions for unity

The scriptures emphasize frequently the importance of unity. Nowhere is unity more important than in the family. “It is good to dwell together in unity” (Psalms 133:1).

We champion the cause of family unity in a world rampant with strife and division.

The apostle Paul said we should be “perfectly joined together” (1Cor. 1:10), “being of one accord, of one mind” (Phil. 2:2), and with “one mind striving together” (Phil. 1:27). Good advice then; good advice today.

If we’re not working together, we’re pulling apart.

The early believers in Christ were “of one heart and of one soul” (Acts 4:32). Alma taught the church “that there should be no contention one with another,” but that we should have our “hearts knit together in unity and love one towards another” (Mosiah 18:21.)

Maybe the virtue of family unity is more easily preached than put into daily practice. Selfishness and pride divide many families.

Gordon B. Hinckley provided valuable advice. He said that we ought to look for and accentuate the virtues, not the faults, of one another, based on respect and acceptance. He said, “If we will look for the virtues in one another and not the vices, there will be much more of happiness in the homes of our people. There will be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling” (in Stand a Little Taller, p. 99).

We have to stifle the voices of insult, sarcasm, and criticism….especially toward members of our own family, who can sometimes feel like punching bags.

No matter what your age, be highly respectful of your parents, just as you would like your own children to respect you.

Few people pay enough attention to the pleadings of Christ in his great intercessory prayer to our Father in Heaven for the unity of his followers, that “they may be one, as we are” (John 17:11), “that they also may be one in us (John 17:21).

We can become “one,” in heart and soul, through unconditional love. We have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear.”           (1 John 4:18).

The entertainment we choose

Our modern culture offers an abundance of entertainment choices--television channels, movies, and music of every kind that stream to us 24 hours each day. We may watch live performances or recorded programs from satellite signals, the internet, and radio waves.

Some of this entertainment is positive and uplifting, but an ever-increasing segment is degrading and destructive. A recent New York Times review hyped a new Broadway musical as “blasphemous, scurrilous and foul-mouthed” (March 24, 2011). Movies and even television have become increasingly pornographic, excusing fornication and adultery, homosexuality, nudity, and casual drug and alcohol use. Comedians deliver strings of profanity and sexual innuendo. Movies and television disparage marriage, fidelity, abstinence, honesty, and faith.

“Our biggest challenge is to choose wisely what we listen to and what we watch” (M. Russell Ballard, Let Our Voices Be Heard, Ensign, November 2003, p. 16-17).

Whatever media we read, watch, or listen to will profoundly affect us in many different ways. Uplifting and beautiful entertainment will enrich our souls, but degrading, obscene, profane, and foul entertainment will weaken our souls.

Consumers vote with their wallets and voices. One may either passively watch the progressive decline in moral standards, or one may take action with other concerned citizens by opposing current trends. “We need to tell the sponsors of offensive media that we have had enough. We need to support programs and products that are positive and uplifting” (M. Russell Ballard, as previously cited).

We recently attended a live, flawless performance of the internationally acclaimed Riverdance. The Irish tap was fast and disciplined. The performers were beautiful and the costumes were colorful and modest. The folk music was authentic and melodic, and the lyrics were uplifting and encouraging.

One may choose high-quality entertainment that enriches and uplifts, or one may choose degrading and corrupting entertainment that defiles the senses and impairs moral perspective.

“If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things” (from the 13th Article of Faith).

Cultivating healthy family relationships

We can all benefit from understanding the characteristics of healthy family relationships. A quality relationship between husband and wife, between parents and children, and among siblings is essential for creating and maintaining a fulfilling, gospel-centered home.

On the other hand, dysfunctional family relationships create discord and an unhappy home environment. Poor family relationships foster conflict, alienate individuals, excuse disobedience and disregard for parental authority, and contribute to poor performance at work and school. Eventually these may also lead to physical and emotional abuse, moral indiscretions, infidelity, divorce, and perhaps even suicide.

How should we cultivate healthy family relationships?

Time -- Family members with healthy relationships spend time together. Time is the fundamental building block that strengthens family bonds. Families that share meal times, go on outings, and participate in sports and creative activities build strong and enduring relationships. In contrast, when family members avoid each other, relationships usually deteriorate.

Communication -- Healthy families communicate frequently at a high level. They converse during meal times. Conversation is positive and constructive. Family members freely express inner feelings, emotions, and desires without fear of repercussion. Words of appreciation, love, and “I’m sorry” generate an uplifting mind-set. In contrast, harsh and unkind or critical comments destroy relationships and break down communication lines.

Trust -- Healthy families trust each other. Parents who have taught their children to make the right choices, based on family values and Christian principles, can better trust their children to make correct decisions in their own life's adventures.

Meeting Individual Needs -- Daily life presents many unanticipated challenges. During difficult times, family members in healthy relationships step forward and support each other. In unhealthy families, rivalries and jealousy predominate, and family members may relish in the troubles that come to their parents, children, or siblings.

Family Goals -- Healthy families plan together to achieve family goals, such as home remodeling and landscaping, or recreation and vacations. Successful families share the workload and make personal contributions to home improvement.

Dealing with Conflict -- Families inevitably experience periods of conflict and readjustment. Healthy families communicate effectively to work through the conflicts--thereby growing closer in the process.

Prayer -- Healthy families pray, study scripture, and worship together. Perfection is not a prerequisite for a quality relationship. But all too often, families forget to think about and put into practice these simple habits that engender healthy and lasting interpersonal relationships.

The gift of time

Someone once said, “Time is love, love is life, and life is time.” If you love me, then spend your time with me.

Time cannot be purchased or exchanged. It is priceless. As an investment, it always returns more than it costs.

Sometimes we give each other presents instead of our presence, but tangible gifts cannot compensate for absence. We need time with each other much more than we need physical objects.

The time that you spend with me determines the measure of your love. Time with each other is precious. Your gift of time is your gift of love.

Gifts that have meaning

This week our son-in-law shared with us some fresh-caught salmon from the Columbia River. It was deep red, firm, and tasty—much more flavorful than any salmon from the grocery store. More important than the salmon was the time he spent catching the fish. We don’t know how many hours were involved, but a single salmon can cost a day of patient effort. His gift was a gift of time and sharing. Gifts of time, service, and sacrifice have great meaning.

We notice that some thoughtful people give of their time, but that other people do not. Our daughter picked us up at the airport, late at night, on our recent return from Russia. Her unselfish gift of time was most appreciated. Sometimes she will pick up lunch on her way over to our home and share extra sandwiches and sodas with us without fanfare or expectation of reward. Spontaneous, considerate gifts have great meaning.

Expressions of gratitude

Because we live a long distance away from most of our relatives, we usually ship gifts for Christmas, weddings, and birthdays—though our preference is always to deliver “in person.” Sometimes we will receive a “thank-you” note in return, but most of the time we do not!

The simple “thank you” note or other sincere expression of appreciation distinguishes gratitude from ingratitude, etiquette from carelessness.

The gift of inclusion

We like to visit friends and relatives, even those who live far away. Some are happy to see us; others seem indifferent or inconvenienced. It’s easy to detect.

Some of our relatives and friends have visited our home in Richland. It’s a nice place with amenities and recreational opportunities. We enjoy hosting. Most relatives, however, do not come, or they visit infrequently.

Some include us in their circle of friendship and share their lives with us. Others remain silent, separate, disinterested, and even unknown. Some call on the phone; others seldom call or write, even with availability of effortless email. We notice.

Gifts that show respect

The most important gift of grandchildren to grandparents is their interest in visiting and sharing time. A grandchild shows respect by spending time with grandparents. We love our grandchildren and cherish the time that they spend with us in our home. Their gift of time and interest is the most important gift that they can give.

“Let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7).

Tribute to a great man

Wayne Ekman Fisher died on July 20, 2010, at the age of 94, in Bountiful, Utah. He was a retail merchant of lumber, hardware, and building supplies for most of his life. He was neither famous nor wealthy. Eventually his business failed.

He was a plain and simple man. He never held political office or any notable leadership positions. He didn’t excel in athletics or appear in movies. He didn’t invent anything, compose music, or write any books.

As the world defines greatness, he lacked many essential qualities: exceptional skills, extraordinary vision, unbridled creativity, leadership personality and ability to form powerful alliances, bravery, organization and planning, sense of timing and fortune, and overriding self-confidence.

However, Wayne excelled in other qualities that have been deficient among many accomplished and well-known historical figures: honesty, purity, humility, and spirituality.

* He was an obedient child who honored his parents. He was a faithful and kind husband. He was a caring father to six children, and he provided the basic needs of his family. He taught his children the value of hard work.

* On Sundays he kept the Law of the Sabbath. He was faithful to his church and he lived his religion. He studied, followed, and lived the teachings of Jesus Christ. He served a two-year mission. He donated faithfully and contributed a full tithing—even during the most difficult economic times. He contributed generously to various charitable causes. He supported countless missionaries before, during, and after their service.

* He was patriotic to his country; he served in World War II and returned with honor. He respected the flag and our military. He voted. He prepared honest tax returns.

* He provided work opportunities to almost anyone who asked for his help. He was kind to his employees. He shunned debt, and paid all his creditors in full.

* He abstained from anything that was harmful to body or spirit, including alcohol, tobacco, caffeinated drinks, and candy (he liked ice cream). He had no interest for and avoided violent and sexually suggestive books, magazines, TV programs, and movies. He lived a morally clean life.

Wayne needed few personal possessions. He established a modest but unpretentious home. He saved for the future. He would rather repair and re-use something than discard it or purchase new. His dress was austere and his work attire was usually well-worn and often mismatched. He drove older vehicles. But his children had food, good clothing, education, musical training, and opportunities to help support the family.

I watched him one day at his business as he helped a widow with a leaky faucet. He took it apart, cleaned it, and replaced a rubber gasket. He put it back together. It took about half an hour. He charged her 9 cents for the gasket. He treated people as he would like to have been treated in a similar situation.

The holy scriptures teach that honesty and integrity, humility, charity, and obedience to the commandments are characteristics that constitute greatness in the eyes of God. By these measures, Wayne Fisher was, and will always be remembered as, a great man.